Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
