This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
