A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
