I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
