respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
