Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
