this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
