hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
