i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
