i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
