I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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