talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
