even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
