HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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