I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
be right there i have to get my cape
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
