i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
