Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
