maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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