My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
