I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
