Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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