Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize