i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
