hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
