Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
