I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
