Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
