Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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