I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
