I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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