let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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