Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
