My girlfriend figured out who you are.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
