I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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