apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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