Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
