I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize