Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then my night got REAL pukey
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
