i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
