i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
