So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
