I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
