Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
