sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
