i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
