I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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