Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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