walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize