32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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