Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Slut skills are useful in every country.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
