Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
