I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize