My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
