with your own penis?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
