My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
