yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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