I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
