you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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