Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
