bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
