How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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