i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
