So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
