Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
